We are not meant to live in isolation. What makes us healthy and whole is the connections we form with one another.  With our families. Our friends. Our colleagues and our community…  The thing we need the most to feel healthy has become harder to get.

After more than 30 years in the field of social work, I know one thing to be true. We do not need to be victims to our situation. We have choices to make, each and every day about how we want to live our lives. How we choose to show up for ourselves and each other.

Practice #13 - Look for the Open Door

Although I like to think of myself as a glass half full kind of gal, I have to confess it’s not always easy. I am a recovering Eeyore, after all.

Ten years into my career I was faced with a crisis. The agency I worked for was in the middle of a restructuring and I was about to be laid off. I loved my job. I loved the people I worked with. After ten years there, they’d become family. At the same time I had two small children. A mortgage and a boatload of bills. I was scared.

One day I was talking to the wife of a friend. She understood the situation I was in. Her husband, my colleague, was facing it too. “When one door closes another opens,” she said to me. “Look for the open door.”

Why is it that some people shine in the face of adversity while other struggle? What is it that allows some people to see opportunities where others see only obstacles? It’s through a process called cognitive restructuring, a way of thinking that allows us to turn stressful situations into opportunities to grow.

The good news is that it’s learned behavior. In my career I’ve been amazed by the ability we have to face enormous struggles and come through them, often, the stronger for it. For most of us, this, no doubt is one of those times. We need to remember is this: We are brave. We are resilient. We are stronger than we know.

Try this:

The practice of cognitive restructuring involves seeing something in a new way, a way that allows movement and possibility instead of limitation. A handful of lemons becomes lemonade. A bunch of old timbers becomes a planter bed. Time spent at home becomes a chance to improve one’s cooking. We’re all doing it. Every day. We have to. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Today pick one thing that is causing you difficulty. One challenge that you’re struggling with. Flip it upside down. Turn it on its side. Change your perspective. What opportunities exist right here, right now? What can you learn from this moment in time?

Remember to look for the open door.