We are not meant to live in isolation. What makes us healthy and whole is the connections we form with one another.  With our families. Our friends. Our colleagues and our community…  The thing we need the most to feel healthy has become harder to get.

After more than 30 years in the field of social work, I know one thing to be true. We do not need to be victims to our situation. We have choices to make, each and every day about how we want to live our lives. How we choose to show up for ourselves and each other.

Practice #15 - Lean In

I’m not going to lie, the last few days have been really hard. We are at day 40 of shelter in place. Day 40 or, as my friend Lesley says, day something. Of waking up to Groundhog Day. Of wearing sweat pants and losing track of what day I’m supposed to wash my hair. Of looking in the mirror and seeing grey, the natural color of my once beautiful brown hair. Of feeling tired despite getting plenty of sleep.

Maybe that’s true for you too.

I sit down at my desk and try to write or grade papers. I walk into the kitchen and grab some macadamia nuts. Or dried mango. Or banana bread. I’m stress eating. I try to fill the emptiness I feel right now. I vacillate between grief and rage and finally land at surrender and acceptance.

There’s a saying in social work. “Lean into the discomfort.” Feel what is. The stuff you don’t want to feel. The stuff you don’t want to acknowledge. The stuff you don’t want to be.

And yes, I know, there’s plenty of things to do to help us. Heck, there are at least 14 of them that I’ve posed here. But some days you just can’t reorganize one more drawer. Make one more loaf of sourdough or even brush your hair. And that’s OK because it is. Right here, right now. And as much as we wish it wasn’t, it is. So lean in.

Try this:

Allow yourself to lean in. Resist the temptation to sugar coat what is true. If, like me, you’re having a hard day, just own it. When your neighbor asks you how you’re doing, tell her the truth. It might not feel great, but it’s real and it’s honest and it is what is. At least for today.