We are not meant to live in isolation. What makes us healthy and whole are the connections we form with one another.  With our families. Our friends. Our colleagues and our community…  The thing we need the most to feel healthy has become harder to get.

After more than 30 years in the field of social work, I know one thing to be true. We do not need to be victims to our situation. We have choices to make, each and every day about how we want to live our lives. How we choose to show up for ourselves and each other.

One of the hardest things about this time for me has been the loss of travel, the opportunity to explore. If you know me, you know I love to travel. Give me a passport and a seat on a plane or in a car and I’m on my way, ready for what comes next. I thought it might be fun to travel, however virtually, around the US and yes, even abroad, to visit with people and hear how they’re doing during this difficult time. Over the next few weeks I’d like to bring you a glimpse of what life is like for our friends and neighbors in other places.

Today we meet Margo, who lives in Petaluma, California.

Welcome Margo. Give us a picture of what life is like where you are. I have a very wonderful group of immediate neighbors (and beyond). We all look out for each other and check in often either naturally outside (6 feet distance) or by a group text. Some neighbors will notify all of us when they are going shopping to see if anyone needs anything. There have been a lot of birthdays recently and we all gather outside to sing happy birthday with flowers from our gardens and small gifts. The only thing really different in my neighborhood is that it’s a whole lot noisier and the streets are busy, nearly every day, all day! Screaming kids with nowhere to go but outside, restless homeowners with their loud power tools and construction! Why are so many people cutting down their trees?

How have you been affected by the pandemic personally? I’m not living all that differently than usual…I spend the majority of my time alone anyhow. There are some things that I miss, but the compromises I’m making are minimal compared to most.  All of my emotions are heightened though, and sometimes I just have to accept that this sucks in so many ways but remind myself to try to stay positive and look to the future!

What has been the hardest thing for you to deal with? I feel like my kids are really far away and if they needed me I couldn’t get to them easily or at all. Even though we all check in regularly, I miss them more and wish they all were closer. (James lives in Manhattan NY) The other part is how deeply saddened I am with all of these traumatic losses…I lost my 20 year old son Aaron (ultimately) to respiratory failure. I know what that looks like and the trauma from seeing it, and how it has followed me for 17 years. “Respiratory failure” is a nice way to say suffocation. It’s brutal and terrifying, especially when you can’t do anything to stop it. I also spent 20 years dealing with trying to keep germs/sick people away from our family, as it could have devastating effects for Aaron. This hand washing etc. is familiar to me. I worry so much for the ripple effect this is going to have for generations to come. It’s also very hard to deal with those selfish people that don’t take this pandemic seriously.

What have you appreciated during this period? Being healthy, having provisions, and being financially stable, at least for now! I greatly appreciate all of the gestures in those reaching out to others, to me, frontline workers, and anyone who cares and follows the shelter in place instructions. I’m most grateful for my son Daniel, who has sheltered in place with me. Not only has he helped me with so many home improvement projects, but I think not being alone has kept me sane! He’s also a great cook.

What are you doing to keep yourself emotionally healthy during this time? I start my day with an early morning walk with my dog, then a self-imposed routine. I already live my life simply and minimally so this isn’t all that different, everything is just a little bit more intense! I am already used to structuring my days with walks, projects, exercise, art, music, community service, healthy eating, rest, reading, etc. I miss my volunteer work but have been keeping busy sewing lots of face masks for Hospice! Taking one day at a time, growing veggies, mindless movies when I need to escape!

What recommendations do you have for others? To slow it down, not to return to the frenzy. This is a good time to reconnect with yourself and what’s most valuable in life. Appreciate what you have and stay connected.  Practice empathy. Those people you have been checking in on, needed it before and will still need it afterwards. And lastly, any time you start to get frustrated and want to break the shelter in place rules, please take a moment and think about those kids and families in cages separated at the border who are living a life of lock down and isolation every single day. Then maybe not going out to dinner or the mall for another month might not seem like such a big sacrifice.

Thanks for inspiring us and for sharing your experience, Margo.

Let’s broaden the conversation, shall we? Would you like to be featured in our guest interview posts? We want to hear from you! Email me at suzanne@suzannemaggio.com.