We are not meant to live in isolation. What makes us healthy and whole are the connections we form with one another.  With our families. Our friends. Our colleagues and our community…  The thing we need the most to feel healthy has become harder to get.

After more than 30 years in the field of social work, I know one thing to be true. We do not need to be victims to our situation. We have choices to make, each and every day about how we want to live our lives. How we choose to show up for ourselves and each other.

One of the hardest things about this time for me has been the loss of travel, the opportunity to explore. If you know me, you know I love to travel. Give me a passport and a seat on a plane or in a car and I’m on my way, ready for what comes next. I thought it might be fun to travel, however virtually, around the US and yes, even abroad, to visit with people and hear how they’re doing during this difficult time. Over the next few weeks I’d like to bring you a glimpse of what life is like for our friends and neighbors in other places.

Today we meet Mark who lives in San Rafael, CA.

Welcome Mark. What are things like in your neck of the woods? Give us a picture of what life is like where you are. There is a lot less traffic and more people outside walking and biking. I’m fortunate to live close enough to open space so I can go mountain biking and you see a lot more people on the mountain than usual. In Marin county, someone started the practice of howling each evening at 8:00 for a couple of minutes as a way to show support for health care workers. Surprisingly, it’s continued for weeks and I really like it - it’s a way to show your neighbors that you’re all in this together and that we’re still here, staying strong. When I hear the howls all around, it kind of reminds me of the Twilight Bark from 101 Dalmatians.

How have you been affected by the pandemic personally? I’ve been fortunate that the pandemic hasn’t affected me in a life-threatening way or a way that has devastated my finances, but it has definitely affected me.  We had to temporarily close our restaurant early on and although the loss of revenue will hurt us, we were particularly concerned by the affect that it would have on some of our workers who don’t qualify for unemployment or any government relief.  Thanks to the generosity of people who contributed to a GoFundme project and the government relief that the business will hopefully get soon, we have weathered the storm and have also been able to reopen the takeout part of our operation. The stress - especially on my wife - of trying to manage the finances while keeping everyone healthy and dealing with constantly changing information, has been tough.

Home life has been disrupted, especially since we were in the middle of a remodel when this all happened. Our inconveniences are minor compared to what others are going through, but the disruption of schedule, uncertainty, and isolation are hard to deal with.

Do you have friends who have been infected by the virus? I don’t have any friends who have been infected, but my mother is in a senior living facility in a town near us, and we haven’t been able to visit her for weeks. We telephone here and drop things off - she has a care-giver and food provided on site. Occasionally the care giver will bring her to her balcony door and we stand below and talk with her on the phone with some much needed visual contact. My mother is doing okay, but I think that she misses our in-person visits that help her keep her spirits up.

What has been the hardest thing for you to deal with? I find that I’m not really fearful that something tragic will happen.  It’s more of a constant low-level feeling of being out-of-sorts and depressed.  Nothing major or dramatic, but something unsettling that’s almost always there. 

What have you appreciated during this period?I lucky to have a wife who is a professional chef and a remodeled kitchen that she’s happy to use, so I’m really eating well.  I also really appreciate the bike rides and time spent in nature.

What are you doing to keep yourself emotionally healthy during this time?  The purpose of the GoFundMe at our restaurant was to help support our workers and also to produce 150 daily meals for some of the more vulnerable people of our community. Doing this gave us a sense of purpose and a feeling that we weren’t just helplessly observing as our world changed in a negative way. We’ve been really fortunate to have a business that has been so well supported by our community and it feels good to return the support now. I’ve also been sewing face masks and giving them to our workers and friends. It’s a small thing - like the howling - but it makes me feel connected and I hope that the recipient gets a little boost when they receive one. 

Connecting with others through Zoom, Facebook, phone calls, online Mass - have all been a positive thing. Also, playing music really helps - a friend of mine and I have started a weekly jam session under a bridge next to his house.  We can have social distancing, and the acoustics are great!

Thanks for joining us and sharing your experience, Mark.

If you would like to help contribute to the work Mark and Heidi are doing to feed the vulnerable in their community, click here.

Let’s broaden the conversation, shall we? Would you like to be featured in our guest interview posts? We want to hear from you! Email me at suzanne@suzannemaggio.com.