We are not meant to live in isolation. What makes us healthy and whole are the connections we form with one another.  With our families. Our friends. Our colleagues and our community…  The thing we need the most to feel healthy has become harder to get.

After more than 30 years in the field of social work, I know one thing to be true. We do not need to be victims to our situation. We have choices to make, each and every day about how we want to live our lives. How we choose to show up for ourselves and each other.

One of the hardest things about this time for me has been the loss of travel, the opportunity to explore. If you know me, you know I love to travel. Give me a passport and a seat on a plane or in a car and I’m on my way, ready for what comes next. I thought it might be fun to travel, however virtually, around the US and yes, even abroad, to visit with people and hear how they’re doing during this difficult time. Over the next few weeks I’d like to bring you a glimpse of what life is like for our friends and neighbors in other places.

Today we meet Carlos who lives in Petaluma, CA.

Welcome Carlos. Tell us about where you live. Things have been a little rough for me and although the pandemic may sound scary in the media, everyone here seems to be more worried financially. There are a few people that did not believe in the virus in the beginning, and did not want to wear masks, but everyone seems to be in the same page now.

How have you been affected by the pandemic personally? My daughter who became sick had to be tested for Covid-19, but thankfully she came back negative. We believe my grandmother has the virus, but she lives in El Salvador, so I have very little contact with her now.

In addition to being a full time student, I work at a bank, so instead of spending more time at home, I end up spending more time at work. I’m a Business Banking Specialist, and my job is to assist every single small business that goes to that branch. As you may be aware, businesses have taken a huge toll in this economy. Unfortunately, a lot of my clients had to close their businesses and some are still struggling to stay open. It was upsetting to see both major parties in the United States disagreeing with each other, rather than coming into an agreement on how to help the people. It was not until the third bill that people got hopes of receiving assistance from our government. The Small Business Administration Loan and the Paycheck Protection Program are great ways to help small and mid-size businesses to stay open. The only problem is that it took so long for customers to receive that money. Some of my clients are barely receiving those funds now. We must keep customers 6 feet away, wear masks for a full shift, and act professional when they are venting at us.

What has been the hardest thing for you to deal with? It’s hard to work full time, be a full time student and take care of my home as I am the head of household…and on top of that, homeschooling a second grader. My daughter’s teacher puts up a weekly package and expects us to teach every subject they teach at school. The amount of time that my daughter spends per day doing her homework is about 5-6 hours per day!

At first, it was easy and fun to do my own homework and teach my daughter at home, but after weeks, the only time for me to do homework is after my kids go to sleep. I have two daughters; one of them is 7 years old, and the other one is 4. The 4-year-old requires so much attention that I feel bad telling her, “sorry I cannot play right now.” I feel like this pandemic is taking a lot of their childhood and the time that I should be spending with them.

What have you appreciated during this period? No matter how tired I am, I attempt to do at least one fun activity with my children each day. I have always seen myself as a fighter, that whatever comes, I will deal with it and move forward, but with so much stress and being overwhelmed, I experienced what anxiety felt. I believe that seeing how many people were stressing around me, started to get to me as if I were absorbing their energy. For the first time, I felt like I was not enough.

What are you doing to keep yourself emotionally healthy during this time? I decided to make a daily plan and organized my days a little better. Going for a walk really helped clear my mind. I am in a tough situation, but what can I do to make things better? After thinking for a couple of hours, I decided to eat healthier, cook with my kids to make it fun and interactive, workout with my kids so they can burn some energy, and to sketch on the daily to de-stress. So far it has worked well, and I feel a lot better about everything that is going on. Now that the semester is ending, I am confident that I will be able to de-stress even more in the summer.

I was able to get the stimulus checks, get refunded form a lot of things and just got my taxes. So financially, I am not stressed. Now that I see my customers frustrated, I put them in the same shoes that I was in when the world seemed to be closing the doors on me. I check with them every week and I have received really good feedback. I let them vent when they come into the branch, I do not take any feelings personal, and I remind myself that I am there to help them improve their financial and mental health.

Do you have any recommendations for others during this time? I think it helps to take a step back to analyze what is happening around you. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we should not be stressing for what happened, but to adjust and make changes to make life easier moving forward.

Last night my daughters and I had a movie night in the living room. My youngest one wanted to watch the movie Kung Fu Panda. I had not seen that movie in a very long time, so we decided to watch it. It was great having each one of my little ones next to me, reminding me that I am here for a reason. Now when I was younger, so many movie references went flying through my head. There is a scene that I really liked that made think about how I should think of my days. The giant panda named PO felt like a failure, worthless that he was not the “Dragon Warrior” and felt like giving up. He was eating a peach tree he did not know was sacred, and he ate them because he was upset. A wise old turtle named Oogway responded to him, “You are too concerned with what it was, and what will be. There is a saying, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today…today is a gift! That is why it is called the present.” It was a great reminder that I should be taking the best out of each day, rather than the day taking the best of me.

Thanks for inspiring us and for sharing your experience, Carlos.

Let’s broaden the conversation, shall we? Would you like to be featured in our guest interview posts? We want to hear from you! Email me at suzanne@suzannemaggio.com.