Florencia Lalor’s adopted family always spoke openly of her adoption. “It was one of the things they did right,” she says. And if she ever wanted to search for her birth mother, she always knew she would have their support. That moment came in 2004, when curious about the mother that gave her up, she grabbed the phone book and began making calls. What she discovered set her on a path that would change her personal and professional life.

Florencia Lalor has spent her life working to understand the experience of adoption. An adoptee herself, she has spoken to hundreds of adoptees from all corners of the world. “I found one common thing… that we all have (in common),” she says of the experience of the adoptee, “And that is the very profound fear of not being loved.”

Florencia Lalor is a psychologist and social worker in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She is the founder of La Voz del Hijo, a virtual platform for adoptees to bring their voices forward. She is co-author, (with Belén López Medus and María Casabal) of a children’s book, Ojos Color Cafe, Hazel Eyes, that is geared towards helping adoptees speak out about their experience.

As you listen to this episode, consider:

• Florencia says that the early wound created when a child is given up for adoption creates a “fear of not being loved”, a fear that exists, no matter how much they are loved by their new family. How might knowing that help us to understand the journey of friends who are adopted.

• How does knowing where you come from affect your sense of belonging —or deepen your understanding of yourself?

• A truth about adoption is that adoptees belong to two families. Creating space for that duality is critical. Think about the “families” that you belong to. How do you integrate often disparate systems in your own life?

You can learn more about Florencia’s work here.

Listen to the episode here.