I taught my first classes by Zoom this week. The technology was everything I expected it to be. Quirky. Jerky. Delayed. The connection dropped a few times. It glitched. It shook. It was less than perfect. But oh what a joy to see the faces of my students. In their living rooms and bedrooms. In their pajamas. With coffee. Kombucha. Banana nut muffins. Many of them are bored. Confused. Sad and scared. A few of them are sick. With the virus, perhaps. They don’t know. They haven’t been tested. We checked in, talking over each other, struggling with the audio delay but also because we were so happy to be together again, even virtually.
In my social work class the topic was healthcare. Serendipitous, perhaps, but it allowed for a folding in of current events. As an educator I try to wake them up, to shake away the malaise that day to day living creates for all of us. I try to engage them in thinking beyond their small slice of the world, to stretch their minds and hearts. It is what all teachers do, what we aspire to do every day. We recognize the importance of our role even if social structures do not.
We talked about values, individual and community. We talked about ethics. We talked about action. What needs to be done? Individually? Collectively? What do we believe should be a fundamental human right? What responsibility do we have to ourselves, to each other and to the community at large?
We talked about the shelter in place orders. In California we are participating. To protect ourselves. To protect others. My students have gone home. The dorms are closing. The university is closed. Graduation is postponed. For my seniors, their time at the university ended unexpectedly. There was no opportunity to prepare. Now they are with their families, or in their apartments. Some who are sick are staying in their bedrooms, away from roommates who they do not want to infect.
I vacillate between anger and fear and sadness. I spoke to my friend Jeanne yesterday. Her son, a medical resident, is on the front lines in New York. “Stay at home,” he told her. The situation is grave. My sister lost a friend yesterday. She died alone. No visitors are allowed in hospitals these days.
I feel helpless. I’m a helper. I want to do something and so I pick up the phone and call someone. I text a friend. How are you, I type. I try to stay out of my head and return to my heart. I FaceTime my brother while he makes pasta bolognese for his family. I do a Zoom yoga class. I walk the dogs. I bake bread. I meditate.
What are you doing in these difficult times? How do you stay centered? What are you doing to connect with others? Let’s share ideas.
